Memorial service
We are so grateful to those who were able join us for Mom’s memorial service. The whole day was a meaningful tribute to who she was and how she lives on in all of us. Here are the readings we chose to create a space for our grieving and healing.
Welcome
We are here today to honor the memory of Patricia Aubin Collier, who was our mother, sister, friend, teacher, confidante, dog whisperer … and, of course, leash wrangler …
We are grateful to be here together today on this beautiful mountainside which reminds us of the mountains of Tibet Mom loved from afar — so that we can pay our tribute to her and support each other in our grieving and healing.
Many important people in Mom’s life aren’t here today. Some of them left us long ago, and so we remember John Collier, David and Emily Aubin, Anne Collier, Jane Boucher, and many others. We bathe their memories with our love.
Meditation
Please take a moment for silent meditation.
Readings
The first reading is from When Death Comes by Mary Oliver.
When death comes …
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
What is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
and I think of each life as a flower,
as common as a field daisy, and as singular,
and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,
and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.
When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. …
The second reading is from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow, your heart dreams of spring. …
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
Mom wrote about her life in many letters and papers over forty years. Mom wrote this statement of her beliefs when she was 41, taking courses in a counseling degree at UVM.
I believe in being fair and honest with those people I deal with daily. Compassion and understanding of others is very important to me.
I believe that, as an individual, I need my own space once in awhile in order to sort out the “jumble” of everyday life.
I believe that our task as parents is more difficult today than it’s ever been, and in order to cope as parents, we must be honest and fair with our children. This means we must keep an open line of communication at all times, and be able to hear what they are saying to us! We really do not need fancy books to tell us what to do, if only we could keep our eyes and ears open, and use common sense.
And finally I believe that, as a single parent who has had to take on many responsibilities, I am capable of taking on any task set before me.
Personal remarks
The heart of this celebration is your memories. I invite you to share your moments with Mom, and of others whom you hold dear in your memory.
…
May these memories — both spoken and not spoken — nourish us and keep Patricia Collier with us long after today itself becomes a memory.
Responsive reading
For the final reading, please respond with, “We remember you.”
In the rising of the sun and its going down. [We remember you.]
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter. [We remember you.]
In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring. [We remember you.]
In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer. [We remember you.]
In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn. [We remember you.]
In the beginning of the year and when it ends. [We remember you.]
When we are weary and in need of strength. [We remember you.]
When we have joys we yearn to share. [We remember you.]
[Source]
So long as we live, Patricia Collier too shall live, for she is a part of all who have known her.
Closing/music
As we close this celebration of Mom’s life, I think she would want us to sing together, to share a blessing for the lives of all living creatures: human, canine, feline, birds, mosquitos, ladybugs, maybe even fleas?
This is Elizabeth Mitchell’s So Glad I’m Here.
[I'm] So glad I’m here. Every day.
[I'm gonna] Sing while I’m here. Every day.
[You know] Joy brought me here. Today.
[And] Love brought me here. Here today.
[I'm] So glad I’m here. Every day.
Thank you for being here today.
I loved the way you described your mom’s memorial service, as “a meaningful tribute”, the purpose of which was “to create a space for our grieving and healing”. As I read through the service, I was inspired by your selections and the way it was put together. There is a solemn serenity about it, creating the perfect atmosphere for the occasion.
Pat would have liked the use of that word, occasion. By one definition it suggests a celebration. Those who gathered that day did come, in fact, to celebrate a life that was full and well-lived, in spite of some hardship. Enduring loss and tribulation, it seems, enriches one’s being and deepens one’s character.
Occasion also suggests a special time set aside for an important purpose. The memorial service was a time to remember and pay tribute to a person who meant so much to so many. Even in the midst of sadness and sorrow, there is a need to express gratitude. Each of us can recall a certain moment when Pat made a real difference in our lives. Some were more significant than others, but it’s meaningful to join them together at one time in one place. The sum of these parts reveals a woman whose life truly mattered.
I hope you found consolation and joy during this special gathering. Knowing how far your mom’s reach extended can only make you even more proud of her.
I like to gather up my loved ones and commend them to God’s care and keeping. That is what I find comforting. You will find what is helpful to you. Since we are spiritual beings in physical bodies, we don’t really lose them ~ they are all around us.
We Remember You
In the rising of the sun and its going down, we remember you.
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we remember you.
In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring, we remember you.
In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer, we remember you.
In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we remember you.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we remember you.
When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember you.
When we have joys we yearn to share, we remember you.
So long as we live, Pat Collier too shall live,
for she is a part of all who have known her.
That is a beautiful dedication. Thank you.